NFL Punter Tells Homophobic Legislator the Truth on Gay Marriage

Chris Kluwe

The NFL season officially opened Wednesday night but a full slate of games takes place this Sunday. And the reason this comes into play is because of a letter written by Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe in response to a letter written by Maryland state delegate Emmett C. Burns who wrote to the Baltimore Ravens effectively telling the team to silence star linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo who spoke out in favor of a statewide ballot initiative that would legalize same-sex marriage.

Burns wrote to the Ravens and said that urged a team executive to ”inhibit such expressions from your employee.”

Kluwe’s well written letter, excerpted only here, is worth a read.  He not only puts the Maryland politician in his place with facts and logic, but he’ll make you laugh at the same time.

From Kluwe’s letter:

Dear Emmett C. Burns Jr.,

I find it inconceivable that you are an elected official of Maryland’s state government. Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level. The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points, which I will outline in great detail (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words):

1. As I suspect you have not read the Constitution, I would like to remind you that the very first, the VERY FIRST Amendment in this founding document deals with the freedom of speech, particularly the abridgment of said freedom. By using your position as an elected official (when referring to your constituents so as to implicitly threaten the Ravens organization) to state that the Ravens should “inhibit such expressions from your employees,” more specifically Brendon Ayanbadejo, not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person’s right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mindfucking obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit.

2. “Many of your fans are opposed to such a view and feel it has no place in a sport that is strictly for pride, entertainment, and excitement.” Holy fucking shitballs. Did you seriously just say that, as someone who’s “deeply involved in government task forces on the legacy of slavery in Maryland”? Have you not heard of Kenny Washington? Jackie Robinson? As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you’re going to say that political views have “no place in a sport”? I can’t even begin to fathom the cognitive dissonance that must be coursing through your rapidly addled mind right now; the mental gymnastics your brain has to tortuously contort itself through to make such a preposterous statement are surely worthy of an Olympic gold medal (the Russian judge gives you a 10 for “beautiful oppressionism”).

I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won’t come into your house and steal your children. They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won’t even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?

Kluwe wraps up the letter nicely:

P.S. I’ve also been vocal as hell about the issue of gay marriage so you can take your “I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing” and shove it in your close-minded, totally lacking in empathy piehole and choke on it. Asshole.

  2 comments for “NFL Punter Tells Homophobic Legislator the Truth on Gay Marriage

  1. Ltpar
    September 7, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    Dan, while I don’t personally subscribe to gay marriage, I did find this posting very interesting. I liked the letter sent by Chris Kewle, especially his straight forward style of expression. I have to agree with him that the Maryland State Delegate was way out of bounds on his objecting to anyone expressing their First Amendment rights. Any person, regardless of their profession is entitled to express themselves on any topic, both in private and public. Thanks for sharing and I only wish I could write like Chris Kewle.

  2. Kyle
    October 12, 2012 at 11:38 pm

    I agree with Kluwe. Emmett C. Burns Jr. is an elected asshole.

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