Molly Ivins on Rick Perry

The late Molly Ivins, a political columnist and devioted student of Texas politics, has provided us with one last relevent gift — an analysis of Texas Governor and GOP Presidential candidate Rick Perry.  Despite Adam Probolsky’s recent poll that shows Mitt Romney holds sway with California Republicans, I’ll note some prominent OC Republicans are calling Perry the party’s best hope of beating President Obama in 2012.  But there are more than enough signs that suggest former President George W. Bush was the smartest person to occupy the Texas governor’s office in the past 11 years.

With early primaries in key southern states, Perry may very well have the nomination sewed up by Super Tuesday, but he has a record that’s as pourpus as a screen door. But why take my word for it? Here’s what Molly Ivins had to say about Rick Perry:

Jan. 12, 2006

The governor of Texas is despicable. Of all the crass pandering, of all the gross political kowtowing to ignorance, we haven’t seen anything this rank from Gov. Goodhair since … gee, last fall.

Then he was trying to draw attention away from his spectacular failure on public schools by convincing Texans that gay marriage was a horrible threat to us all. Now he’s trying to disguise the fact that the schools are in free-fall by proposing that we teach creationism in biology classes.

The funding of the whole school system is so unfair that it has been declared unconstitutional by the Texas Supreme Court. All last year, Rick Perry haplessly called special session after special session, trying to fix the problem, and couldn’t get anywhere – not an iota, not a scintilla, of leadership.

Instead of facing the grave crisis that might yet result in the schools’ being closed, Perry has blithely gone off on creationism – teach the little perishers the Earth is 6,000 or so years old, that people lived at the same time as dinosaurs, and who cares if the school building is falling apart?

Jan. 11, 2004

I have failed to give sufficient recognition to our only governor, Rick “Goodhair” Perry, who is adding to the old je ne sais quoi in truly impressive quantities.

Goodhair gave such an amazing performance at his end-of-the-year news conference that I was forced to call a perfectly reliable reporter for the Dallas Morning News and ask if it was a joke. …

The guv remains convinced that his greatest accomplishment was not raising taxes, even though fees, tuition, fines and everything else that the Leg could find to jack up without calling it a tax was jacked sky-high. …

You may think the guv’s had a rough year – three special sessions on top of the regular session just to pass that misbegotten redistricting bill, not counting the two bolts by Democrats and such minor unpleasantness as having to hack $10 billion out of the state budget.

For some, the budget-cutting, aimed mostly at services for desperately needy people, was a painful and even tragic exercise. Especially knocking 250,000 poor children off health insurance.

Fortunately, Gov. Goodhair has a firm grasp on priorities, and when asked his biggest disappointment of the year, he replied: “Aggie football.”

Jan. 16, 2003

Gov. Goodhair Perry has already earned himself a new nickname after a stunning interview with the Austin American-Statesman in which he noted that Texas has two very serious problems that he, Rick the Reluctant, plans to do exactly nothing about.

“Gov. Rick Perry said Wednesday that Texas is burdened by an outdated, out-of-whack tax system and a public education finance system that has to go,” reported the paper. “But the state’s top elected leader also said Texans shouldn’t expect the upcoming legislature to do anything about either. Perry said tackling the dense issues is too much to ask of new leaders.” That’s leadership!

June 24, 2001

First, we Texans would like to salute the only governor we’ve got, Rick “Goodhair” Perry, the Ken Doll, for vetoing the bill to outlaw executing the mentally retarded.

We are Texas Proud.

Such a brilliant decision – not only is Texas now globally recognized for barbaric cruelty, but a strong majority of Texans themselves (73 percent) would prefer not to off the retarded.

Gov. Goodhair’s decision – in the face of popular opinion, the Supreme Court and George W. Bush’s recent conversion on this subject – is a testament to his strength of character.

Or something.

His Perryness announced, anent the veto, that Texas does not execute the retarded. I beg your pardon, Governor. Johnny Paul Penry, now on Death Row for a heart-breaking murder and the subject of two Supreme Court decisions, has an IQ between 51 and 60, believes in Santa Claus and likes coloring books.

And that’s not counting the other six we know about for sure since 1990.


  2 comments for “Molly Ivins on Rick Perry

  1. Marcus Wilson
    August 22, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    Thanks for sharing this very interesting article. Just wait until people find out about the real Rick Perry–if he gets far enough. He’s just the same old typical Republican who sends out postcards of his perfect family and dog. The background of which is the American Flag and a Bible on the coffee table. Meanwhile, while no one’s watching, Perry most likely is a true “man about town” if you know what I mean. It’s gonna be an interesting year.

  2. Mekhonbg Kurt
    August 24, 2011 at 10:28 pm

    Gosh, how I miss the late, great and ever irrepressible Molly! That woman had more keen insight in her little finger — on her worst days — than any ten pols EVER had — on their most STELLAR days!

Comments are closed.