Bill Maher’s “New Rules”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0l-Bi_il9WM[/youtube].

“Real Time” host Bill Maher had a classic “New Rules” segment for Friday’s episode.  The Video is not safe for work, but his edited column from the Huffington Post sure is.  Read it here. 

Maher’s words echoed what many Democrats have been saying for some time — we’re not going to get any help from Republicans on anything anyway. We might as well go it alone.  The election 2008 mandate for Democrats was far greater than anything the Republicans had in 2000, 2002 or 2006 when they pushed their agenda.  As Sen.Barbara Boxer is famous for saying – elections have consequences.

From Maher’s column:

New Rule: You can’t use the statement “there will be no cooperation for the rest of the year” as a threat if there was no cooperation in the first half of the year. Here’s a word the president should take out of his teleprompter: bipartisanship. People only care about that in theory, not in practice. The best thing that’s happened this year is when President Obama finally realized this and said, “Kiss my black ass, we’re going it alone, George W. Bush style.”

Two months ago, conservative Fred Barnes wrote, “The health care bill is dead with not the slightest prospect of resurrection.” Well, if it’s dead, you just got your ass kicked by a zombie named Nancy Pelosi. Seriously, the last time a Democrat showed balls like that John Edwards’ girlfriend was filming it. Make all the botox jokes and she-shops-too-much jokes you want, but this is the biggest political victory a woman has ever achieved in America. Yes, Nancy Pelosi likes nice clothes. So does Sarah Palin. The difference is Nancy Pelosi pays for hers.

But even before the Democrats got to take a single victory lap they were already being warned not to get used to the feeling, and not to get drunk with power. I disagree. All you Democrats: do a shot, and then do another. Get drunk on this feeling of not backing down and doing what you came to Washington to do.

Democrats should not listen to the people who are now saying they shouldn’t attempt anything else big for a while because health care was such a bruising battle. Wrong — because I learned something watching the lying bullies of the Right lose this one: when they’re losing, they squeal like a pig. They kept saying things like, the bill was being “shoved down our throats” or the Democrats were “ramming it through.” The bill was so big they couldn’t take it all at once!

And I realized listening to this rhetoric that it reminded me of something: Tiger Woods’ text messages to his mistress that were made public last week, where he said, and I quote, “I want to treat you rough, throw you around, spank and slap you and make you sore. I want to hold you down and choke you while I fuck that ass that I own. Then I’m going to tell you to shut the fuck up while I slap your face and pull your hair for making noise.” Unquote.

And this, I believe, perfectly represents the attitude Democrats should now have in their dealings with the Republican Party: “Shut the fuck up while I slap your face for making noise — now pass a cap-and-trade law, you stupid bitch, and repeat after me: ‘global warming is real!’”

The Democrats need to push the rest of their agenda while their boot is on the neck of the greedy, poisonous old reptile. Who cares if a cap-and-trade bill isn’t popular, neither was health care. Your poll numbers may have descended a bit, but so did your testicles.

So don’t stop: we need to regulate the banks, we need to overhaul immigration, we need to end corporate welfare including at the Pentagon, we need to bring troops home from… everywhere, we need to end the drug war, and we need to put terrorists and other human rights violators on trial in civilian courts, starting with Dick Cheney.

  1 comment for “Bill Maher’s “New Rules”

  1. Robert Lauten
    March 29, 2010 at 10:31 am

    “Global warming” is a ‘religion’:
    The facts do not matter.
    The economic consequences do not matter.
    The resulting global genocide does not matter.
    http://www.larouchepac.com/greenfascism

Comments are closed.