It’s Monday, the legislative session is “completed,” and “Open Mike” Duvall is still getting spanked by columnists around the state. I’ve gathered a few of them together to make your Monday morning more entertaining.
Politics and sexual deviants
Don’t look now, but the two are intersecting all over the place.
Columnist: The Buzz
The Orange County Register
Disgraced former Assemblyman Mike Duvall’s tales of influence paddling and his lobbyist’s eye-patch panties reminds me how sexual behavior and deviance from the norm percolate just beneath the surface of public life.
After Duvall’s abrupt resignation Wednesday, I rang Dick and Linda Ackerman, one of politics’ most inseparable couples. My call travelled across the Atlantic and was answered outside of Paris. The Ackermans were enjoying cocktails at the childhood mansion of the Marquis de Sade, perhaps the most famous deviant of Western civilization. Read the complete column here.
We have this from Steve Lopez of the LATimes.
‘Spanky’ Duvall’s conduct is grounds for a good thrashing
By Steve Lopez
Let me begin by saying I’m not into spanking. If I suggested to my wife that we give it a try, I’m confident she would spank the side of my head with a frying pan.
So maybe I’m not the best person to judge Mike “Spanky” Duvall, the family values crusader from Yorba Linda. He’s the unfortunate chap who resigned from the state Assembly last week after he was caught on camera boasting of his sexual conquests and peccadilloes, which include a mistress who wears panties the size of an eye patch.
“So I am getting into spanking her,” Duvall told his colleague, Jeff Miller of Corona, while the two sat on the dais during a break at a hearing in Sacramento. They did not know the microphone was on. “Yeah, I like it. . . . She goes, ‘I know you like spanking me.’ I said, ‘Yeah, that’s ’cause you’re such a bad girl.’ ”
Not that I don’t have my own fetishes. I like to fantasize, for instance, that while two legislators kibitz at an Appropriations Committee hearing in a state with crippling budget problems and a ridiculous load of unfinished business, the knuckleheads are talking about something other than spanking and underpants. Read More.
Behind Duvalls’ closed doors
The Orange County Register
Top 10 things Mike Duvall should have said when he got home:
10. “Let’s not watch the news tonight, honey. I feel like snuggling.”
9. “There was just something so Phyllis Schlafly about her.”
8. “Yorba Linda just didn’t prepare me for all the bad girls.”
7. “I was just having my Mike Carona moment.”
6. You know that Caribbean vacation we’ve been talking about â€¦?”
5. “But she’s an old 36.”
4. “Come on. ‘Hypocrite’ is such a loaded word.”
3. “She was only modeling the ‘eye-patch underwear’ â€“ I bought for you.”
2. “Hey, she deserved to be spanked.”
1. “I still saved some for you, baby.”
One question facing Judge Andrew Guilford when he sentences George Jaramillo today is whether George has already paid enough for being a ringleader in the corrupt circus that was the Sheriff’s Department’s command staff for so many years. Read more.
Don’t let the Sacramento sex scandal fool you
By George Skelton
The Michael Duvall fiasco shouldn’t reflect on the entire Legislature, which has had a better year than it’s getting credit for.
The Legislature had just wrapped up its annual session when a top aide invited me to a post-adjournment party across the street from the Capitol. I went.
Entering the hotel suite, I saw an open bedroom door. And sitting on the bed was an attractive female lobbyist wearing only black panties. Two or three male legislators stood around grinning, chortling.
A little embarrassed, I hurried past to the main party group. The bedroom door soon closed. And for the next 45 minutes or so, one legislator after another entered or left the room.
The lobbyist had just won passage of a major bill, and I assumed she was celebrating by entertaining helpful lawmakers.
No, this was not early Saturday after the tortured conclusion of this year’s regular session. It was 46 years ago, not long after I had begun covering the Legislature for a wire service. Read more.
Are we having fun yet?