Sanford and Ensign Blame Affairs On Gay Marriage

pride-flags-sunsetWashington, DC/Columbia, SC — In a joint statement from their respective offices Nevada Senator John Ensign and South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford have announced that their acts of infidelity are directly related to the growing acceptance of same-sex marriage in the United States.

“In 2006 I supported a Constitutional Amendment to ban gay marriage because I believed that gay marriage was a threat to the institution of marriage. When my colleague Larry Craig was exposed for his restroom tap-dancing I suspected that his actions were the result of the gay marriage movement” Ensign said. “Little did I realize that this movement would drive me to violate my own marriage vows.”

Sanford, who revealed today that his dissapearance and resulting “Where’s Waldo (Mark)” search, was due to his marital infidelity was a bit more explicit in his remarks.

“I cheated on my wife because of gay marriage.” Sanford said. “If it wasn’t for the constant attack on my marriage by same-sex couples I would have never strayed.”

We will have more on this developing story including the speculation that Sanford was actually in Boise, Idaho for their annual Gay Pride Festival at the invitation of Senator Larry Craig.

We will continue to try to peal back the orange to find the truth. :)  In the meantime here is what CNN has on South Carolina Gov. Sanford admits extramarital affair.

Satire Rules!

  2 comments for “Sanford and Ensign Blame Affairs On Gay Marriage

  1. Loretta
    June 24, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    OMG! I think my brain just exploded!

  2. CJ
    June 24, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    Wow, I don’t believe what I just read. So much for “family” Republican values…

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