BREAKING: Republicans Suspend All Campaigns

A friend sent me the big news over the tubes. It looks like they’re all amping up putting an end to petty political games to solve the financial crisis that they created, just as John McCain suggested. President Bush has said that we all need to come together as Americans to solve those problem caused by President Carter, President Clinton, and all the “DemonRats” in Congress when they forced the banks to offer home mortgages to those pesky minorities.

Oh yes, and our own wonderful Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Crazy) says this is all the feminazis’ fault. Rep. John Campbell (R-Slick) says that the financial sector faltered because middle class homeowners commit fraud. Meanwhile, Reps. Gary Miller (R-Dirty) and Ken Calvert (R-Creepy) have demanded that their developer buddies be included in the $700 billion bailout bill because they’ve been bribing Miller & Calvert with campaign contributions adversely affected by the market conditions.

Republicans say they are willing to let bygones be bygones… But ONLY if the Democrat Party admits it’s at fault for EVERYTHING and Barack Hussein Osama Obama OBOMBalamadingdong withdraws from the race today so President Bush can suspend the election and rule indefinitely. John McCain says that we all must now “put country first” by professing the infinite wisdom of the Republican laissez-faire, “trickle down”, “steal from the poor to give to the rich” philosophy and giving his executive buddies an extra $700 billion to ride out this storm.

[This is snark. Laugh already!] 😉

  3 comments for “BREAKING: Republicans Suspend All Campaigns

  1. Paul Lucas`
    September 25, 2008 at 11:33 am

    Nice Andrew. That gave me a good laugh.

  2. Homewrecker
    September 25, 2008 at 1:33 pm

    I thought that you knew, it’s now John Campbell (R-Asswipe)

  3. Katie
    September 25, 2008 at 3:33 pm

    Yeah… Calvert signs magically appeared all over the district in the wee hours of this morning. I can totally see the part where he is suspending his campaign. He is such a tool…

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