Today’s Lesson in Republican Spin: Compare and Contrast

HT to Lita Robinow for forwarding this funny little test.

If you’re a minority and you’re selected for a job over more qualified candidates you’re a “token hire.”   If you’re a conservative and you’re selected for a  job over more qualified  candidates you’re a “game changer.”

Black teen pregnancies? A “crisis” in black  America.
White teen pregnancies? A “blessed event.”

If you grow up in Hawaii you’re “exotic.”
Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you’re the  quintessential “American  story.”

Similarly, if you name your kid Barack you’re  “unpatriotic.”
Name your kid Track, you’re “colorful.”

If you’re a Democrat and you make a VP pick without  fully vetting the individual you’re “reckless.”  A Republican who doesn’t fully vet is a”maverick.”

If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your organization from  a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000 to $400,000, then become the  first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a  voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new African Amerian voters,  spend 12 years as a  Constitutional Law professor, then spend nearly 8 more  years as a State  Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people,  becoming chairman  of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services  committee, then spend nearly  4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of  nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the  Foreign Affairs,  Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs  committees, you are  woefully inexperienced.   If you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the  mayor of a town  with less than 7,000 people, then spend 20 months as the
governor of a state with 650,000 people, then you’ve got the most executive  experience of anyone  on either ticket, are the Commander in Chief of the Alaska  military and are  well qualified to lead the nation should you be called upon  to do so because  your state is the closest state to Russia.

If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of people you are an “arrogant celebrity”. If you are a popular Republican female candidate you are “energizing the base”.

If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself and makes his own  decisions you are “presumptuous”.
If you are an older male candidate who makes last minute decisions you  refuse to explain, you are a “shoot from the hip” maverick.

If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree you are  “an elitist-out of  touch” with the real America.
if you are a legacy (dad and granddad were admirals) graduate of Annapolis,  with multiple disciplinary infractions you are a hero.

If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign,  you are an “empty suit”.
If you are a part time mayor of a town of 7000 people, you  are an “experienced executive”.

If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are “extremist”.
If you believe in creationism and don’t believe global  warming is man made,  you are “strongly principled”.

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and  left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month,  you’re a Christian.  If you have been married to the same woman with whom
you’ve been wed to for  19 years and raising 2 beautiful daughters with, you’re  “risky”.

If you’re a black single mother of 4 who waits for 22  hours after her water  breaks to seek medical attention, you’re an  irresponsible parent, endangering the life of your unborn child.  But if you’re a white married mother who waits 22  hours, you’re spunky.

If you’re a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing  press calls you  “First dog.”
If you’re a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a Republican, the right-wing press calls you “beautiful” and “courageous.”

If you kill an endangered species, you’re an excellent hunter.
If you have an abortion, you’re not a Christian, you’re a  murderer ( forget about if it happen while being date raped…)

If you teach abstinence only in sex education, you get teen  parents.
If you teach responsible age appropriate sex education,
including the proper  use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.