It’s All Hillary’s Fault!

Well, now we know.  Typically, I’m not a fan of rip-and-read, but this one was too good not to share and there’s really no need to rewrite it. I know we’re all going to be relieved to learn:


ST. PAUL, Minnesota – Key leaders of the Republican Party are going on the offensive to head off criticism of their new Vice Presidential candidate Alaska Governor Sarah Palin due to the disclosure that her 17-year old unmarried daughter Bristol is pregnant. “If it wasn’t for Hillary’s long time support of loose morals and whipping up women to think they can make decisions about their own bodies, none of this would have happened,” said Grover Norquist, anti-tax activist and GOP leader. “Staying married to that cheating liar of a husband of hers, gave the message to our daughters that it is acceptable to lose all respect for themselves and to forget our all important teachings of abstinence only. Shame on the Clintons. They should be impeached all over again,” said senior McCain advisor Steve Schmidt.

“The focus of blame lies clearly with the Clintons and the rest of the Godless Democrats,” said Family Research president Tony Perkins, “and certainly not with the Palin’s. Fortunately, their daughter Bristol believes in pro-life and will keep the child and will marry the child’s father as soon as a suitable father can be located.” More importantly for Palin and the Republicans, the elder statesman of the evangelical movement, James Dobson of the powerful Focus on the Family organization said he backs Palin completely. “We all know that this teen pregnancy is the result of the Democrat Party’s unabashed support of the gay agenda.”

“This disclosure will not hurt the Republican ticket but actually help it,” said Annette Ratliff a Texas delegate to the GOP convention. “It shows that the Palin’s wrestle with the same problems as ordinary Americans and their handling of it shows strength, determination and that they are just like us. Now if it was Chelsea Clinton or one of the Obama girls who got pregnant when they are teens, it would be nothing less than a message to the American people of a shameful flaunting of immoral behavior encouraged by parents in league with the devil himself.”

See the original post, here.

  3 comments for “It’s All Hillary’s Fault!

  1. Dan Chmielewski
    September 3, 2008 at 5:56 pm

    Bill — why isn’t the father of Bristol Palin’s child under arrst for statutory rape? She was 16 and he was 18 when the baby was conceived? Just wondering….

  2. Chris
    September 3, 2008 at 8:14 pm

    You are aware that this satire , right? It was first published on Sept. 2. by the “Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch” and clearly labeled as satire.

  3. Howard
    September 4, 2008 at 7:58 am

    What’s wrong, couldn’t find a waiter who overheard the maid of someone who once donated to the RNC say that kids today are too wild?
    Contrast that with the monumental gaffes Sens Obama and Biden make on a regular basis. That was weak and a stretch, but I guess any port in the storm that is Gov. Palin, huh?

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