Earthquake? Nuclear Fueled Explosion Reported In US Midwest

April 18, 2008

From The Orange Juice Blog – Santa Ana

Pajaritos from Orange Juice Space Command in Santa Ana, CA, are reporting today that a ‘nuclear fueled’ explosion has occurred in the United States region of Illinois after the downing of an American B-52 Bomber by, presumed, other elements of the US Air Force operating in that region.

So powerful was the explosion reported from this downed American Nuclear Bomber that Pulido propaganda media sources are reporting the effects of a 5.2 to 5.4 magnitude earthquake in that region, but to which the most accurate description of a nuclear type blast was reported by the Bloomberg News Service and who stated in their article: “You could hear a roaring sound and the whole motel shook, waking up the guests,” Vibha Ambelal, manager of the Super 8 Motel in Mount Carmel, Illinois, near the epicenter, said in a telephone interview.”

These reports further state that this was the second attempt by a US B-52 Nuclear Bomber to penetrate the North American Command Air Defenses surrounding the dissident United States Scott Air Force Base, located in Illinois, from which these aircraft seeking to bomb Iranian atomic facilities are based.

On Tuesday, April 15th, American citizens to the Indiana region immediately east of Illinois reported numerous ‘booms’ and ‘flashes’ in their night skies which some attributed to fireball meteorites crashing into the atmosphere, but which the United States Air Force reported was caused by F-16 jet fighters ‘sonic booms’ and their use of ‘military flares’.

These reports, however, state that this April 15th incident turned back the first abortive attempt by dissident American Forces to secret their plundered nuclear weapons out of that country for their intended use against Iran.

The ‘trigger’ to these latest desperate attempts to embroil the World in Total War arose from the US Defense Secretaries ordering of a full accounting of all American Nuclear Weapons on March 28th after the discovery of that an unspecified number of them were ‘missing’.

The first attempt to use these ‘missing’ nuclear weapons against Iran we had previously reported on in our April 5th report titled “US Nuclear B-1 Bomber On Iran ‘Attack Run’ Shot Down” and which occurred in the Middle Eastern Nation of Qatar.

A spokesman for Orange Juice Space Command further reported that the American War Leaders were warned this past week by the British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, and by Pope Benedict XVI, both of whom traveled to the United States this week, against the attempts by the US to escalate their conflicts into another World War, but which by these latest events these War Leaders appear not to have listened to.

As they have previously reported, the United States believes it has no option other than Total World War as their economy continues imploding while at the same time fuel prices are rising to catastrophic levels and more food riots are being reported the World over, all of which when combined signal the collapse of the American Empire on a scale not seen in since the collapse of the former Soviet Union on June 12, 1990.

The spokesman continued; “It remains, without doubt, that the people living within the United States will not be allowed to know the full evidence of these events, and their imminent destruction, except by the means of dissident sources of information such as ours. For the final outcome of these events we, perhaps, will have little warning, but, and surely anyone with open eyes can see, the storm clouds gathering on the horizon.”


  7 comments for “Earthquake? Nuclear Fueled Explosion Reported In US Midwest

  1. April 19, 2008 at 9:15 am

    Ah yes, I heard this on Mike Malloy last night. Not sure what to think. I know when they accidentally moved those live nukes it seemed rather strange. They keep such a tight guard on those, not even funny, they can’t just “Ooops”.

    Scary stuff and I think a few years ago I would have laughed and moved on but after this Administration, I don’t know what to believe anymore.

  2. April 19, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    Ah, this must be the vaunted Chris Prevatt humor! Heather didn’t get it, and I’m not entirely sure I did, either. I’m pretty sure, though, Heather, that Chris is trying to make the point that my blog The Orange Juice prints absurdly conspiratorial pieces, by copying and pasting a dubious story from another site and sticking our name and Mayor Pulido’s name (wait I thought we were against Pulido) in a couple of spots.

    Points for effort, Mr. Prevatt… well, actually only one point for effort since that couldn’t have taken more than 5 minutes and most of us didn’t get it. THIS is how satire and humor are done my friend:

    Oh BTW prepare for a blogswarm, just got around to alerting my mailing list about your poll on keeping the OJ on your “liberal launching pad.” Ya know it’s the right thing to keep us on, and I heard Art is trying to figure out how to do the same thing for y’all…….


  3. Ryan
    April 19, 2008 at 4:17 pm

    It is my understanding that nukes dont just explode from spontanious impacts. They have to be armed and then detonated by internal or external triggers. I highly doubt that a plane was flying over the US with armed (switched on) nukes. There have always been planes carrying them since the cold war but these are not switched on.

  4. Dan Chmielewski
    April 19, 2008 at 9:18 pm

    Vern — I actually got what Chris was trying to say. And having read your example of humor and satire, sorry..I didn’t find it either satirical or funny. More like a signed confession that it wasn’t. Maybe you should take that as a cue to stop posting links to your stories in the comments section here. I haven’t seen anyone on this blog do that at OJ (at least not recently). You have links to your stories via the Liberal Launchpad to the right.

  5. April 19, 2008 at 9:26 pm

    Well, Heather and Ryan seem like smart people and they didn’t get it… perhaps because unlike some of us they don’t LIVE INSIDE the world that is the OJ/LOC feud.

  6. April 19, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    Ryan, Yes. But there was a breach of protocol with the moving of those nukes a few months ago, I’m just going from that report.

  7. jc
    April 21, 2008 at 6:21 pm

    This is wierd, b/c I just ran across this article today, never any mention of this standoff before…….. It’s the first anyone has heard of it. I’m confused —-

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