Understanding Liberals?

Over at Today’s Flash Report, Jon Fleischman has written another memo, this one to Assembly member John Benoit on the faliure of his bill AB2389; the subject line in the memo is “Understanding Liberals,” a subject Jon clearly knows little about.

The missive is proof positive that sometimes, the blank page is a signed confession about ignorance of the subject matter at hand.

Jon opines:

In the case of AB 2389, from the point of view of a Democrat, this bill is poor public policy because, first and foremost, it is not the fault of someone in need of public assistance that they are in that position.  They are victims of societal influences that create an uneven playing field.  They are very comfortable placing this person, generally, in a welfare category for life.  Also, they largely believe that people who are addicted to drugs are actually victims as well.  That through no or little fault of their own, they have had a rough go of it and who can blame these folks for turning to drugs?

You mean people like this?

Rush Limbaugh, comedian


Noelle Bush, president’s niece

Cindy McCain, John’s wife (prescription drug addiction)


So in the spirit of Jon’s “understanding Liberals” comment, I’d like to share my “Understanding Conservatives” list sent to me by a buddy from Boston.

Things Republicans Believe (received anonymously on the net)  Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.  The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.  Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.  "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.  A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.  Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.  The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.  Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.  If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.  A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.  HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.  Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.  Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.  Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.  A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.  Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.  The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.  You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.  What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.  Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.