How Many Republicans Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb? (yes, it’s a joke)

HT to DownWithTyranny blog; don’t forget to add your own jokes to the comments section:

How many Republicans does it take to change a light blub.

1. One to deny that the light bulb needs to be changed

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed.

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb.

4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for darkness.

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid/cost-plus contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb.

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a stepladder under the
banner: “Light Bulb Change Accomplished.”

7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark.

8. One to viciously smear #7.

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light bulb changing policy all along.

10. Finally, Joe Lieberman to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing the light bulb and screwing the country.

11. Who needs a light blub when you can get all aglow just by thinking about Ronald Reagan?

  7 comments for “How Many Republicans Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb? (yes, it’s a joke)

  1. Aunt Millie
    October 15, 2007 at 10:05 am

    How could a Republican change a light bulb without a tax cut for the richest Americans? If the wealthy don’t have another tax cut, will they truly have an incentive to change the light bulb, and to change it to one that will be commensurate with their style of living? You wouldn’t want them to be forced to use some compact fluorescent bulb, and deny the economy the benefits of replacing the entire fixture.

  2. Anonymous
    October 15, 2007 at 11:27 am

    Q: How many union members does it take to change a light bulb?
    A1: Are you kidding?
    A2: 50.
    Q2: Why 50?
    A3: It’s in the contract.

  3. Aunt Millie
    October 15, 2007 at 1:24 pm

    How many Devores does it take to change a light bulb?

    There are nuances to the question.

    Q. Is is nucular powered? Can we build new nucular plants to power it?
    A. Let there be light.

    Q.Did Al Gore say it needed to be changed to stop global warming?
    A. Cue union lightbulb joke. Hate those unions and libruls.

    Q. Did the lightbulb win a Nobel Prize?
    A. Must be evil, like Jimmy Carter and Nelson Mandela. Break it and curse the darkness.

    Q. Is is a hemp lightbulb?
    A. Then Jefferson would have changed it, and so will I, when I get some better basketball shoes.

  4. Aunt Millie
    October 15, 2007 at 1:29 pm

    Wait, is it a light bulb in a Minneapolis Airport bathroom?

    That may change the Republican answer.

  5. Dan Kirk
    October 15, 2007 at 3:22 pm

    12. The light bulb is not burned out. It is still operating at full capacity and accomplishing its mission. Do not listen to the peacenik critics who are telling you it is burned out. It is operating as it was designed!

  6. October 16, 2007 at 7:37 am

    13. Zero. Republicans do not change light bulbs, they hire low wage workers to do that. However, it takes a whole lot of Republicans to protest the illegal entry into the country of light bulb changers.

  7. Andrew Davey
    October 16, 2007 at 9:25 am

    13. Zero. Republicans do not change light bulbs, they hire low wage workers to do that.

    I think we have a winner here! It really is a trick question. Since the GOPers want to “trickle down” the riches of their strong economy to the poor masses, they prefer to just hire undocumented workers to do “lowly stuff” like change light bulbs. However, it does take a room full of Republicans to argue about whether or not undocumented workers should be allowed basic human rights, and whether or not an American is a true “freedom loving patriot” if one changes one’s own light bulb… And it’s an energy-saving CFC bulb.

    And meanwhile, the Democrat in the room just installs that CFC bulb and fixes the problem. :-)

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